It's 4.25am and I've been awake since about 2.30am. This has been going on for the past year or so. I know what causes it but unfortunately that doesn't mean I can fix it.
Part of it is being 46 and slap-bang in the middle of a stage doctors call 'peri-menopause' - the beginning of menopause. Actually, I haven't had a period for about a year, now I come to think about it so I'm probably past peri-menopause and have reached menopause.
Whatever, depression, insomnia, anxiety and mood swings are all apparently a feature of this time of life. Lovely! I have two teenagers and one almost-teenager in the house, a part-time job, the usual busy life driving people everywhere and the usual how-are-we-going-to-pay-the-bills worries lots of people have. A good night's sleep would really help me deal with all this.
Instead, I find myself completely unable to deal with things, both in my head and in my life. I snap at people and my poor family are completely confused. It's not their fault and I feel like he worst person in the world for taking it out on them but sometimes ....
